Plant Parenthood 101: How Not to Kill Your Plant
So, you’ve decided to become a plant parent. Congrats! Or, if you’re like me, maybe you just stumbled into the world of houseplants while trying to survive the great indoors during 2020. Either way, welcome. Let’s make sure you don’t, you know, accidentally murder your new green friend.
The Humble Beginnings of a (Now Obsessed) Plant Parent
My journey started with good intentions and a total lack of knowledge—like when I tried to bring Miami vibes to my backyard with a palm tree. Turns out, not all palm trees are ready for the wild outdoors of Elkhart. Oops. That poor palm was supposed to be an indoor plant, but I didn’t know! So after watching my "Miami dream" slowly roast in the Indiana sun, I did what any plant parent would do—I dragged it inside and hoped for a miracle. My TikTok with him
Lesson One: Not All Plants Love the Sun (And Some Really Don’t)
The whole lighting situation confused me. “Low light? High light? Is this plant reading a book or something?” It felt like I needed a plant Ph.D. just to keep them alive. But once I learned that plants have specific lighting needs (who knew?), things got a little easier. My advice? Figure out your light situation first. Google it. If your plant says “low light,” that doesn’t mean shoving it into the pitch-black corner—think more "indirect sunlight, with a dash of Instagram aesthetic.
Watering: The Fine Line Between Hydration and Drowning
Next up, water. Yes. I mess this up at first. It’s like, "Surely if a little water is good, a lot of water is better, right?" Nope. Turns out, overwatering is a thing, and plants don’t appreciate getting soggy. For newbie plants like ZZ plants or pothos, the rule is simple: let the soil dry out completely before you water again. And trust me, getting a soil moisture meter will be your new best friend. It’s like having a tiny plant therapist telling you, “Relax, it’s fine, they’re not thirsty yet.”
Succulents: Easier? Yes. Invincible? No.
Feeling confident after my palm tree rescue, I went and bought succulents at Lowes—those little cuties everyone says are impossible to kill. Spoiler alert: I almost killed them. Turns out, succulents don’t like being watered like regular houseplants. They’re more like the camels of the plant world—water them once in a while, then let them be. Succulents love bright light, and not drowning in water.
Pro tip: when in doubt, don’t water!
The Facebook Plant Underground (Yes, It’s a Thing)
During lockdown, I discovered Facebook plant groups. Think of them like eBay, but for plant cuttings. Cheap, fun, and a little bit wild. Picture it: socially distanced porch pickups where everyone is excitedly swapping plants like we’re in some kind of leafy black market. It's honestly a great way to meet fellow plant parents and snag some cool plants for next to nothing.
Pro Plant Parent Tips:
Check for Mites – Plants are not immune to pests. Give your new baby a once-over before you take it home. You don't want a mite infestation ruining your day.
Name Optional – You don’t have to name your plants, but if you feel like it, go for it! I personally don’t name mine, but I do talk to them. Positive vibes, right? “You’re beautiful,” I tell them. “Thank you for those new leaves.”
Don’t Get Overwhelmed – Start with easy plants like a ZZ or a pothos. They’re forgiving. Once you gain some confidence, you’ll start to feel powerful… maybe even like you could handle 150 plants. (Yes, that happened to me. Send help.)
Final Thoughts
If you're still reading, congratulations—you’re already ahead of the curve. My biggest advice is to research each plant before you bring it home. Think of it as background checking a new roommate. They’re living beings, after all, and they each have their quirks. Give yourself some grace. With a little patience, some light Googling, and the right amount of water, you’ll be well on your way to becoming an amazing plant parent.
I believe in you. You got this.
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| My first succulents from 2020 (still alive-2024) |
One thing I reslly enjoy doing is planting for sure. I have multiple plants growing in my house, but they are all in jars of water so they have their own root systems growing in water and no soil. I also enjojy plants outside. Drought tollerant plants are great for that person that can not keep a plant alive to save theirs. Vines and palms are easy to care for to, and look good especially by a pool.
ReplyDeleteHi Chase!
DeleteI also have a bunch of hydroponic plants growing all over the house. It is a great way to reuse glass jars from pasta sauces or mason jars. Babies everywhere!
I relate to this a lot to be honest. I wanted to try keeping plants, especially around 2020, but only tried as of this year. I have a dragonfruit cactus (named Mushu of course) and I have...successfully? kept him alive this long. I think. However, I am still curious to get into the world of plants and keeping them alive confidently, so I will definitely take your advice and try some of the easier beginner plants sometime soon!
ReplyDeleteHi Kas!
DeleteI admired those of you who can remember their given names. I am loving Mushu! Congrats on keeking Mushu alive.
Once you start into this world of nurturing, there is no going back. Not a bad thing though.
Hi Ethan!
ReplyDeleteYou have my son's name...so I like you already :) I am glad to know you enjoy plants as well. It can be very therapeutic.
Many of my hoyas and succulents thrive on neglect. Same as my cacti. I am glad I am not the only one. Thanks for reading my blog!
When in doubt, don't water... you know, for someone that was briefly a major in agriculture, you'd think I would have already learned that lesson. Turns out, most of the watering in the Ag business is done automatically, who knew!
ReplyDelete(I did)
My mom could really use this lesson... she has the least green thumb out of anyone I've ever met. Even her yard looks about like what her gardening skills would suggest. I think she's just too stubborn to listen to other people's suggestions.
Thanks for the new fear about the mites by the way. I do not want mitey plants thank you very much, I'll be on the lookout from this day forward.
I think this is a great guide! This blog is well-designed, and this is a great intro to plant parenting. I appreciate the humor added to this, it makes it more enjoyable. Learning about the lighting and watering was interesting for me. Of course, I know that plants require light but I found the moisture meter super interesting.
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